Headgate Update

Why am I still posting about headgates? Two reasons. 1). I get hit after hit to my site everyday about people looking for more headgate information. 2). It's been three months since I learned about it and I wanted to report.

The first time I read headgates (thank you very much Karen for posting about it right after the Forum), I was blown away with truth. Some of the specific examples I thought were a little extreme, but I loved the concepts and the principles. (I'm all for great ideas!) I felt strongly that she taught truth. Truth and principles that I could take and interpret within my own sphere.

I applied many truths she talked about, adapted to fit our home and our personalities.

STEP 1: We got rid of a lot of stuff. We removed clothes, shoes, sheets, wall hangings, decorations, dishes, spatulas, a computer, piano books, office supplies (like paper clips! - we had a lot), movies, and LOTS and LOTS of toys and books. I think we removed 50% of our stuff. Really.

STEP 2: We stoped certain activities. We classified toys and tools. Office supplies were used for legitimate projects. Building tools were used for legitimate projects. The computer became a tool and not a toy. Food became a tool not a toy. Movies were not to be watched unless they served a purpose and usually only if the entire family participated.

STEP 3: We instituted work time. We taught our children how to work. We began to expect them to do hard things. We expected them to do more than do the dishes after dinner or take out the trash. They learned to work hard for three hours straight. They learned how to clean toilets, do entire loads of laundry start to finish, make bread, vacuum, deep clean, dust, make dinner, serve people, move lots of wood on our land, and numerous other outdoor work projects. They learned to not whine. We taught them to return and report. We taught them to be responsible for their stewardships.

STEP 4: We gave them free time. Before we had randomness. Now we had work time and play time (or free time).


STEP 5: We changed to all lifeless toys. After a month or two we decided to go further down the path. We removed every last Lego, lightsaber and other "follow the instruction" toy. (We just put them in the shed until the experiment was over). We said we'd just do it for a month to just "see" what would happen. We moved the boys all into one room and made a playroom that was only filled with those toys.


STEP 6: Three months later. Let's evaluate. That's were I'm at right now. We really did all the things she said in her ebook (not her FAQ page-I think some are not right for our family. Just the same way I don't believe some of the ingredients are right for our family. But I've still taken truth out of it with out having a panic attack about the rest).

Evaluate. Yes. Let us do that. The scriptures say, "by their fruits ye shall know them." We had a really good home before. We had really good kids before, and I was was a really good mom. (Alex has always been great. I'm extremely biased). Now? We have great kids. We have great kids that work their guts out and are growing up to be real men that can take care of their families. We have a daughter that's growing up to be an amazing women. We have great kids that aren't bored. We have great kids that have amazing imaginations and can make all sorts of creations out of sticks and twine. We have great kids that don't whine when we ask them to fold the laundry. We have great kids that are respectful to us. They recognize where they are in our family structure and they embrace it. They know each of roles and they respect each one of us in our individual spheres. The 'me' culture seems to be getting driven out of our lives.

I personally, don't think that I have ever truly felt more peace and happiness in our family structure. Our home as become a heaven on earth. There are few worldly distractions and we pursue wholesome activities that we find joy in. The desire to have fun has been replaced with a desire to enjoy things.

About the books. Our children have come to cherish their free time. They spent a lot of time playing but they spend a lot of time choosing to read also. It is not uncommon to see Jared on the couch reading a 500 page book, Olivia in her room reading Cicero (or some other meaty read), Luke to be reading a Shakespeare play (abridged), or Caleb writing a story in his story book. Really. They didn't do that before. And really, they are happy.

About the Lego's. Yes, I'm going to bring the Lego's back. However, they are going to stay in the shed outside. If they want to play with them they have to go and get them. They have to act for themselves and not be acted upon (thank you Misty). They may then play with them and then they will return them to the shed. They can of course pursue this activity during free time. My older two boys have enough Lego hours saved up in their little minds to last a couple kids' lifetimes.

It seems hard to image that our life could be so drastically different for the better. We were a really good family before. We were always vigilant on our movies and entertainment. We had strict Wii 30 min time limits. We never let them read trash, no graphic novels, and a host of other books that I considered not worth reading. We went from good and better to best. And that has made all the difference in the world.

By their fruits ye shall know them. Yes, it is truth for us. We are grateful for great people that share their ideas and thoughts.

A Whirl into Simplicity

So many thoughts about life are "a-whirling" around in my head. Where to start?

A couple of weeks ago I did some serious spring cleaning (6 month purge). I removed from our house bags and endless bags of stuff. I'm talking a MASSIVE house purge. Actually it was all good stuff. In the fall I had done a serious purge and gotten rid of the junk. What was left was the good stuff. However, I realized that just because it has value doesn't mean it needs to sit in my house collecting dust. So I got rid of our excess. I got rid of the things that while good, were beyond on needs and wants. For example I removed clothes, shoes, books, games, decorations, sheets, towels, kitchen utensils, pans, etc. If we didn't use it or if I had say 10 spatulas when I could get by with 4 I put them in my thrift pile. (Which was the size of my living room).

Now the kids can close their dresser drawers. They each have a couple pair of pants-nice ones, church ones, and jeans, 3 or 4 collared shirts, 5 or 6 t-shirts, 1 pair old tennis shoes for working, 1 pair of nice ones for regular, etc. etc. I have two brown skirts, two black skirts, 2 pairs of p.j.'s, and on and on.

"That book was nice, but gee I haven't read it again in 5 years. I think I'll give it to the thrift store for someone else to read and benefit from. That's a nice classic. It's an easy read. Not a favorite or one we really need to study. I'll chuck it and then when I need it I'll just get it from the library." Thus some of my thoughts.

I found myself desperately wanting to get rid of our excess to bless others lives. In return I found that I was freed up! I have less to dust, less to straighten, and less to put away. I'm not overwhelmed when I open a closet now. There aren't 8 extra pairs of twin sheets ready to fall on top of me since they are just shoved in the closet. I know exactly where things are. I am finding that I'm taking better care of the things I have. When it's toast I'll just replace it because I know what I actually need!

I'm not overwhelmed with cleaning. I'm freer to spend time with the kids and really play and really learn. Very empowering. I challenge anyone to see what they have in their house that they really don't need. It's like our house had a bi-pass. That drastic. Do it, I dare you. (P.S. My husband and my kiddos LOVE it, and we haven't missed a single thing yet).

Other thoughts. We recently - a month ago- stopped buying milk, bread and cereal from the store. You see I have more time and I'm not overwhelmed. So we've made lots of homemade cereal and lots of yummy whole wheat bread. I've always made hot breakfast and bread, but this is serious now! Sandwiches on home made bread, that's a new one. We are cooking a lot more things home made and we are going to the store a lot less. Olivia made home made whipping cream today just because we can.

Go green? Well, I think I might have the bug a little. Over the last three weeks we have started walking everywhere. Yep that's right. (That helps that going to the store to buy milk-who wants to carry that home?) That's including church. I need to state that we live in a very rural town. So it's not like things are super far away. Our piano teacher lives two miles out of town. I've been teasing the kids that they better work up their muscles because in a month or two we are hiking out there baby! Yesterday I had to help at a funeral and it was windy and rainy. I also had a salad with dressing to get up to the church. So I figured it I could walk then I would be able to walk in almost anything. So I did and I survived it. Go figure? Two months ago I'm sure I wouldn't thought I wouldn't have made it. So no scheduling in the treadmill to "work out" I'm just going to stop being lazy and work out all day long. "Pioneer Children Sang As They Walked and Walked and Walked....." The kids and Alex are super troopers with this as well. They think it's kind of fun. They might not have liked the rain storm yesterday though. What do you think?

I recently read a post here that has really got me thinking about the "stuff" that we surround ourselves with. I love her ideas about having kids do real life things. I'm anti-craft. I've always thought they were pointless. I'm so happy that someone is validating me!!! haha So we make, build and create things that serve a purpose in our lives. That includes real life math problems and real life books that teach real life problems. Sewing projects that are gifts. I'm loving it you know. She also has some other really good things to say. Check it out.

That's enough for now. I don't want to shock anyone. But seriously let's think about it. We are the laziest people (Americans) in the world. We drive everywhere, buy everything, do busy work worksheets, and make trinket junk. Let's ask ourselves why? We were born to create and serve. Let's remove the junk from our lives so that we can fill the full measure of creation!

Thoughts please. : )

What's the most important? My brain on paper.

The beautiful thing about home schooling is that we are able to study and learn about anything we want! We can also focus on anything we want.

I've read so many wonderful blog posts and articles about some of the things that others have done. They have inspired me to great ideas within my own family. I love it! I have read about nature study, composer study, history of all shapes and sizes, science of all shapes and sizes, science experiments, music theory, art study, biography study, art techniques, creative writing, grammar including diagramming sentences, spelling, time lines, life skills, violin study, piano, a multitude of other instruments, literature (this list is huge!), money management, geometry, algebra, astronomy, Shakespeare, Greek, Latin, Sign Language, Spanish, French, Geometry, PE, logic, rhetoric, and the list keeps going and going and going......

I've been thinking what are the most important things for my family. I feel that I only have a short time with my kids before they are gone and I'm no longer their teacher. I need to narrow this list down! I've simplified it to the most essential and then identified within that what is the most important. I don't know what to label these?

Level 1: Core Phase Behavior
Level 1B: Reading, Writing, Arithmetic in it's basic sense

Level 2:

• Life Skills: House hold management
• Theology: Specifically narrowed down to the Gospel Principles Manual
• Literature: Greek classics, Shakespeare and Dickens
• Math: Money Management and Geometry (if our roof is X size, how many shingles do we need?, etc)
• Music: Piano and specifically Music Theory

Level 3:

• History: Specifically American History
• Science: Physical Science?

Level 4:

• Art
• Astronomy
• Foreign Language

The farther down the list you go the less I've actually thought about it. I have put a lot of thought in the first two levels though. A lot! What is the most important? If I didn't teach them anything else what is absolutely essential for our family.

My husband and I absolutely love history and so do our children. We don't even have to teach that subject in our home, they just know it. It just is. That is why that's not more of a focus. Science? I just didn't think it was the most important for our family to focus on. I'm certain that some families will have that focus instead of music like we have.

I'm not saying that we won't do science or art, I'm simply identifying my focus. Everything after that is a bonus. I just need to get my bases covered. I'm still thinking. Like I said, "My brain on a paper."

So have any of you narrowed down your focus and really thought about what is the most important for your family to know and understand?